I don’t know!

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largeThe year has just started.

And I have already lost so much.

So quick, so soon, so unexpectedly.

I stand here with everything I had yesterday, yet I have been ripped apart to the crux of nothingness.

I am full, yet I am as empty as can be.

I walk, and yet I haven’t moved at all.

I am in a state of silence. A silence so dark, so loud, so poignantly altering,it has rendered me in a perpetual state of contradiction.

I am pained, and I feel numb.

I crave, yet I want nothing.

I seek, but I have already found and lost.

So what now??

Where do I go from here??

How come, all that I knew of me seems incapable of pushing me through and pulling me out??

I no longer relate to the place I am at.

I am lost, despite being right where I have always been.

Change has come upon me, like it forever chooses to come unannounced,unrequited,unyielding.

It has barged in, taking over my best laid plans and showing me nothing but nothingness.

Change seeks me to change,but what should I change it doesn’t tell.

Its quiet at this question;Unyielding.

Everyday, this phantom change blankets me in suffocating warmth, coaxing me to cozy myself in this emptiness of its non answer.

Everyday I burn within this muted gloom.

It doesn’t matter how warm I am when my heart has been butchered with coldness of the reality I am living.

The same reality that is no longer a source of my solace.

Sleepless nights, frightened sleep, and jagged control over my own self, has brought me at this threshold of my life.

I no longer know what to do.

I want to know.

Do I move on, rekindle my battered faith and try again??

Or I stay still, and let myself surrender to this new yet old reality??

I dont know.

All I know is I dont give up.

I am made of stronger things..

Yet I don’t have that strength anymore.

I dont have the fire anymore.

I dont have the figth anymore.

So what do I do??

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Undress

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Undress

Undress...

Photo: Pintrest-Youtube.com

~~

Toss those heels

Come down to truth

The height of your being

Is true now to itself

~~

Undo those pins

And set those strands free

Undoing the knots

I sit be

Letting me free

~~

As the dress pools

By my feet

I undress myself

From failure and defeat

~~

Naked I walk

Baring my skin

Embracing my scars

Bathing my within

~~

Untouched,Unmarred

Unmade

For a moment

Its me,Unmatched

~~

My nothingness

Is my accessory

My emptiness

My makeup

~~

I wipe It off

To bare it all

To wash it off

And let me breathe

~~

I am weightless

As I let go

I have so much

With nothing at all

~~

Just a moment alone

Standing to see

Me, just me

In a mirror, my reality

Just me!


Authors Note:

We build layers upon as, as we grow.But Its only wen we ‘grow up’ do we realize, the weight of these layers.Soon we start- trying to peel these layers off wanting nothing more but to reach our true selves. Failures,success,loss,fights,society, expectations..they melt off, as the fire of our quest burns bright. And as we go, peeling the rust around our souls, we start to feel light,we start to see the fog lifting.Its you, you find at the peak of this pinnacle, the true you, untouched,unmarred and unmatched.

Go find yourself,go peel those layers off and set yourself free!!! 🙂

Cheers ❤

Aashna

Be yourself;

It suits you.

Stay!

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Photo by: Moi ;)

Photo by: Moi 😉

He walks away with every mistake,

I can do no right it seems.

Silence is what he chooses,

When my wounded heart screams

I tear apart his artic,

Of a shell he hides behind;

In return he leaves me stranded,

Considering I am his fiend.

Every other day,

We fight like it’s our last.

Ready to give up on everything,

Wanting to make ‘US’ our past.

With my tears he turns away;

With my fears he likes to play.

Not caring to know the why,

He wishes to say goodbye.

But farewell I can’t provide

I love too much to leave.

Despite the valley of differences,

I can’t help but to believe.

Beyond the anger of this moment

Awaits an oasis of joy

Beyond this outburst of rebellion

Awaits a life void of ploy.

So look not at my flaws so close

That you forget to see the good…

Instead decide to walk my way.

And stand where we always stood.

Under the happy branches

Of a life filled with dreams..

Besides the babbling girl..

Who’s been with you through extremes!

 

This is an apology, an olive branch. I want to make up and move on. I don’t want to fight cos we couldn’t please someone else on one’s behalf. Please don’t make our relationship an ATM machine for everyone to use for free. I am yours and yours only, and I wish to keep it that way. I am not sorry for not complying with someone’s needs; I am sorry for not complying with yours. No excuses. I should have, and I will make it a point that I do (most of the times). I will try my best never to oust you in public. I am once again extremely sorry for that. I was enraged yesterday; hence I didn’t say it sooner. I knew at that moment, I shouldn’t have let you down. It was never my intent. I just wanted to not comply with anyone else. In protecting myself from the expectations of others I ended up causing a wound to the one that means the world to me, who has been my gentle warrior, my wilful love. I will try not to let it happen again.

So look back and try, please, to forgive me and my not so thoughtful and considerate actions and words. I mean them not.

Please forget and rewind back to the happy bubble we live in. I don’t want to be without it. It’s my only saving grace at present, and I want to preserve it for eternity. So come back, and dare not leave, cos I will be right on your tail…Just accept this apology and stay!

 

With buckets of sorry’s and oceans of love you’s

Aashna.

 


 

Authors note:

 Just a lil something written from the heart, for someone that nurtures it and keeps it warm. This is more than an apolpgy, its a gesture to keep holding his hand….through it all, no matter what.

 In every relationship, couples fight. Some, they let go, some they hold on.Hurt is the one thing that weakens a relationship;Add ego and you are walking the wrong path. In love we let ourselves go, so why not let go off our egos and insecurity, surrendering in the blind faith that is very much needed to go throught with any relationship. I let myself go, I gave it my all, worrying not, for what would happen to my heart.In doing so, I received the same, a heart for a heart, surrender for surrender, and faith in exchange for faith. It was worth the gamble of my heart. it was worth spilling my emotions and it was worth being heard.

 I wish you do the same. Dont give up, work harder!! Dont hold on, give it your all. Love flourishes beautifully wen given completely with no holdbacks…Have a lil faith and take the plunge, and more than likely you will be surprised what awaits beyond your hesitation. 🙂

 

Cheers!!! ❤

Aashna

Be yourself;

It suits you.

 

Searching “I” in India.

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Photo Courtsey:Pintrest-99traveltips.com

Canada-Mumbai-Kerala-Goa-Gujarat-Delhi-Rajasthan-Mumbai-Canada

 

  She packed her bags and decided to travel, wanting nothing more than to find a place that felt like home. A place that reintroduced herself to the person she used to be and always wanted to be: Her true self. So, she did just that. The first plane out, hand in hand with the love of her life, she embarked this age old yet very new journey. It felt so fresh, the rush to go back. Every time her home reinvented itself, presenting her a very new and vivid picture of the possibilities it held. Anticipating and awaiting the adventure, she travelled, halfway across the world,24 hours away, to her home; “India”.

  Her heart skipped a beat, as the wheels hit the ground and the stewardess welcomed everybody to the warm and wonderful country of India. Mumbai was where it all started, the multiplication of excitement, the division of anxiety. All was forgotten, the stress of the everlasting every days, the shackles of the untamable responsibilities. All that came to welcome her was a gust of friendly air and a sense of belonging. She was truly home, despite being all alone in the crowd of a few million people.

 Her first day home was a fun filled frenzy, running back to the airport to fly to God’s own country: Kerala. Untainted and unique was what came to her mind as she took in the aura of the place. The beauty around was untouched, the knowledge held, unmatched and the calm it presented, unexpectedly soothing. Add good company and good music and she was Golden. It was the perfect start. Lazy morning on a boat, floating through the splendid back waters of Alleppey. Soft and serene, the music of the waves swayed the senses in the breeze of a silent melody. That was the music for the first day. Troubles seemed far away, far off on the receding shores that looked irrelevant in comparison to the quiet nothings that embraced her. She could feel it seeping in, the faint flavor of her true self; the one that enjoyed the simple nothings of every days, as compared to the blaring sounds of an ambitious week. This was all that she needed, but there was more, more that was waiting to untangle her from her own web.

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Allepy backwaters! Photo: Moi 🙂

 

As the day ended, inviting a new one to take over, she found herself transcended from the flat plains of the calm seas, onwards the green tea plantations of the spellbinding Munnar mountains.It was an added wow to her already sated soul; a breathtaking playground of beautifully painted landscape, sitting in the lap of awe. Walking amidst the natural gardens brought about a sense of sigh, an emotion of elation and a moment of memorable magnificence. Munnar was simply beautiful, a perfect throne set on the peak of God’s own country, celebrated by sharing the essence of its existence to its admirers in the form of dance, relaxation and visual soul healing. She took it all in and let her soul free, finally settling into the emotion of belonging. Soon the pace was about to change.

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Munnar Mountains! Photo:Moi 🙂

  Goa,the place to be. The place to let loose and let it all go. After a long, too long to be enjoyed train ride, she finally stepped on the grounds of India’s party central. Not that she was in looking to party, rather an intimate gathering comprising of her, her thoughts and the sounds of the hustle bustle that somehow always managed to tune her in with her own voice from within. But Goa was the peak, the cherry on the trip so far. Lucky for her, it turned out to be the most relished part of the 10 day long trip. Transported to an exclusive and oddly (for Goa) calm beach, this leg of the journey was solely catering to fun, laziness and wandering without a worry in the world. What else could a girl ask for. She was more in tune with herself now, celebrating the rise of her ease, and the fall of her inhibitions. This was the best it could be, being reacquainted to one’s self. Goa gave her the best present of all, the gift of leaving it all behind and embracing a moment that had nothing to offer but pure joy. It came by doing absolutely nothing, yes nothing at all, no plans, so expectations and no disappointments on missing out on the possible to do’s. It was the best feeling ever, fueling the second half of her journey with a positive and easy going state of mind.

 What lay next ,lived amidst the not so monotonous everydays. It was the best part of the journey, a part all about people and places that defined what home was for her. And it surely wasn’t materialistic. It was the memories of days that, despite having been left behind, still shined bright in quiet recesses of her ever pacing mind. Waking up to the sounds of yesterday, chasing the day with the friends that shared your dreams and stories, and ending the evening with rituals that never get old, no matter the absence in time It was indeed the most wonderful time, doing nothing yet accomplishing a gamut of heart inspiring moments. What progressed from reacquaintance, down to the food lane, tempting and sating the flavor of a hungry palette soon transported her to the world of colors. Holi, the festival of colors, celebrating the start of spring and all the good things it brings along. All the way from Gujarat, onwards Delhi and its many visual spectacles, right to the heart of Rajasthan, off wen went to the pink city, Jaipur. The city that brought her love to the threshold of holy matrimony and onto the life that she so loves living. It was subtle yet grand as it could get. Love filled eyes of the gentle giants, the Elephants, lured her and her company to come hither and get to know them. The elephants melted in her warm caress, swayed their trunk with happiness, as she fed them their fodder and painted the lovely girl beautiful. Sakina,Basanti…the Elephant gals were just the best beginning to the next few hours, that awaited to color them crazy and repaint their washed out ideas…A splash of red, a sprinkle of green and a blast of orange, add some blue, magenta and a few more, and there she was, a living canvas. It was the best memory, a festival that waited patiently for a decade to be celebrated by her. She embraced it, and so did the festival, and the people painted with its galore. It was the best of times…it was the most colorful of times, and the music and madness just added to its appeal.

Holi!! Photo:Moi :)

Holi!! Photo:Moi 🙂

Soon it was time to go return. It waited to welcome her back, and unpack the goodies she collected in India, but wait, one small little adventure still awaited her attendance before she boarded onto that plane. Mumbai and Lonavala. ‘Live like they do’, was all her heart could say, as she walked the streets of Mumbai, and took in its many faces. It was hard not to love the city, bright and happening, calm in the right places, but constantly evolving to cater the people who call it their home. She loved it, the traffic being the worst of its cons, everything else, felt just right. Even Lonavala, the quick escape destination for the locals turned out to be a pleasant chikki filled experience closing in the trip with everlasting sweetness.

 

 

 


 

Authors Note:

  That was my story, my journey to my country, that I visit almost every year. And despite visiting it so often I still find something breathtakingly new every time. Its my salvation, my salve to my not always welcome everydays.India, puts me back to a place where I can re-recognize myself. It truly makes me happy, happy beyond words, and its the best feeling ever…

 I just hope my  little attempt to share my story, entertained you. I hope maybe if you’ve not been to this country or to a certain place,my babbling has made you a little curious to explore.If so, then my words have earned their worth!! 🙂

 

Cheers!!

Aashna

Be yourself;

It Suits you.

Ignition on…about to take off again!!!

I am back…and my creative car is all set to take on the road and conquer the journey to realizing my dreams!!

A month of ‘Living’ India has fueled the tank of my ideas to the desired brink.A feeling that makes me feel happy,happy to have new directions to venture into.Now its just a matter of shifting gears and chasing the speed I desire, to get to the horizon….Soon (give me a week) I will restart my weekly blogs and re-introduce to you the zeitgeist of my ideas and take you along for the ride. I plan start by sharing my India adventures.Then some random ramblings, followed by the story that has been plaguing my mind for a few months now.That’s the story I desperately want to write and hopefully publish. The story of Vienna and Kingston, the story of love and its mad manifestations in the lives of two simple yet soulful characters.So stay tuned,the ride is about to get crazy.Crazy good! 😉

Cheers!! ❤

Aashna

Be yourself;

It Suits you.

A negligible disappearance!!

I am sorry….

I am not posting anything of value today. Instead I am here to excuse myself for a vacation back home. So please pardon me for the next month as I go unwind,regroup and empty my oh so full cup of life. I hope that my trip to to India will allow me to let go of the loop I have been in, be it in life, ideas or actions. I have not been in the best of places situationally and am in dire need of a break.Hence here I go. Please stay tuned and back me up.I promise I will have some good and hopefully some great content as soon as I come back. One idea I have been thinking about is Vlogging this trip.Maybe share with you snippets, information and experiences.So Yeah…hopefully it happens the way its playing in my head. Other than that…I would love to start sharing snippets of a book I so want to write…Maybe an introduction of what it is about and as I go along writing it, some teasers and excerpts.

So once again…don’t leave…and stay tuned…I will be back…even before you realize, and who knows some spontaneous thought might seep in and I might post before..So don’t go anywhere…I’ll be right back…. 😉

Cheers!! ❤

Aashna

Be yourself;

It Suits you.

Garden Of Eden!!

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GARDEN OF EDEN!!!

I grew up at a pace that was faster than light…

And here I’m today; Still!

My dreams became tears that shed away their skin…

For them to come alive; I could kill!

I held the hands of lives..

Made them…sing and dance..

But here I’m; Deaf n dull!

Funny how I believed, that simplicity will work

And O got betrayed in a lull!

My soul drowned into nothingness

The roses faded before their thorns.

Laughter, Shined and set too soon

And the child inside me mourned

I braced the cold and waited

For the clouds to part some light

I closed my eyes and chanted

To rid me of such plight

A flicker of hope, an invisible string

Pulled me up to explore

I stood and stared, at what’s there

As I opened this new door.

Standing amidst the Garden of Eden…

Knowledge shed its leaves…

Though not all it could give me..

But many dreams time retrieves…

Laughter comes back…in love..

Hands are held again..

The thorns fade before faith…

And the heart finds its ‘ZEN’


Authors Note 🙂

The garden of Eden, the perfect place to be. Its the vision of perfection, a dream of idealism and a pinning that keeps our hearts going. We all get there, but not all of us stay there for long. Our doubts,worries and fears drag us out of those gates. I’ve had my moment of true joy, my very own sense of Eden, but I have very consciously yet  passively allowed myself to be dragged out by my insecurity and self criticism without an ounce of effort. Such is life..the good, we need to work on, the happiness we need to fight for. Vices they need no such effort, they are the products, or rather the manifestations of our fear and fear is the effortless tyrant that snatches the will out of our efforts to sate our souls and offer them their Eden. But we fight, everyday we fight this fear, its family of insecurity, self doubt and comparison. Everyday we push further wanting to sit under the tree of life and learn a new lesson. Everyday we surpass our limitations , sometimes by choice, sometimes by sheer determination and unexpected situations, but we make it through. And we find our Eden, our own little place of the perfect life we dream of. So keep it up…keep fighting, keep that passion to live a better life alive…and walk your way in victory towards the garden of Eden!!!

Cheers ❤

Aashna

Be Yourself;

It Suits You

Jagged Little Heart!!

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 Jagged Little Heart…

My first breakup, felt like the end of the world, like it had tipped off of its axis and went spiraling down the sans gravity universe. I became that person I saw in the romcoms I so loved, the one sitting with a bucket of the fattiest, creamiest chocolate ice-cream, watching videos of US. Now there was no US, and I’d be damned if I chose to brush it off and move on. No I played the part of a broken hearted girl to the T. I stayed in my woman made cave for days at end. I cried and laughed, and howled and whined and cried some more. You get the picture. I was pretty pathetic. But at 16, being dumped a week before prom by the one guy you crushed on, since September last year was an epidemic of epic proportions. How could it not be?? We dated for like a week. A WEEK. That’s like an eternity in teen years. Anyways cutting my sad little sob story short, I skipped prom, cried in my prom dress, that I diligently put on, on that fateful night and voodooed love out of my life. Love as I knew was officially over. I and love would never get along. NEVER.

Ha Ha Ha, laughed my heart, the next time I found myself falling way too soon, and way too hard for love. I was 18 and he was handsome. What other ingredients do you need, to let love explode and paint my life with its desired colors once again. I took back my words, I failed my Voodoo, there was no winning over love. I surrendered and that’s when a certain cloud parted. The cloud of subtle epiphany. Love was a lot different this time. It lacked a certain, umm… a certain stupidity. This time around it wore a cloak of sensibility, a hint of maturity if you must say. This love didn’t perish in a week, heck it took me almost a month to accept my sour defeat against it. This time love wanted to stay longer. The crack that I thought I had upon my heart, from the gruesome breakup of the Sweet Sixteens, was nowhere to be found.My heart was completely intact, and ready to take the plunge. Tick tock, Tic tock, Tick tock. These were the steps of me getting in deep. A smile, a wink, An accidental caress, hypnotized me. Love lured me in, and I, in my love filled dazed had no options but to follow. A hand held, a whisper in my ear, a peck on the check, the unexpected hug. I was in deep. Love had me where it wanted me to be. Sated and surrendered. Then came the kiss, the ticking bomb of a test. As the lips met, love imprinted my heart. This would leave a mark. This would definitely leave a mark. But it didn’t matter. I was dancing with love, and the way it lead me in this waltz was worth losing power over. It spun me in its web, I giggled, unaware. I was so focused on the shine and shimmer that I forgot to check if it was true gold. Into the deep I was, into the dark I would soon be. The rug it pulled dropped me from such a height I had no way to save myself. I fell and broke my heart. It wrecked and there it was, the infamous crack I thought I had before. This one was the real deal, not the manifestation of an active imagination. No. This was going to stay, and during its stay, hurt like a B’yaach. The intensity of a breakup was twice the intensity of the startup of love. The smile, the wink, the accidental caress hit back twice as hard, and not in any good way possible. The hand held, the whisper in my ear, the peck on my cheek , the unexpected hug, drained me out of my tears, left me a living corpse. And the Kiss, Damn the kiss, it simply ripped my soul apart. The memory of his lips, slapped me hard and kept me up. It introduced me to some nightmares and some doubts. It befriended me fear and my first step away from love. For real. Innocence ran and hid behind the façade that was starting to build up. A façade of false bravado, of self sufficiency, and the unwillingness to take a chance. Love was so done, and I wasn’t kidding. Nope. My guards were up, my curtains drawn and my ammunition to fight love, on high alert. Love stood no chance.

Love, the sneaky bastard, played it cool. It didn’t bother me for quite a while. Long enough for me to move on and take a peak outside. Long enough to start feeling lonely.Long enough to forget the scar on my heart. Love did its homework this time. No random crushes would breakthrough my barricades. No handsome hunk would awake my dormant heart. No. It needed something big, a full fledge package deal if you must. So started the inner workings of love. Wanting to step back into my life, and befriend its long lost best friend, my heart, it put its best foot forward. Slyly it tickled my fancy. A chance encounter, a rare glimpse into his eyes and what lay beneath. A faint pulse spreading through my dormant heart. ‘Something is about to change’, whispered my waking heart, but I chose to ignore that voice. I blinked and turned away. Only to be trapped in that gaze. The gaze paved way for chance encounters and soon, his words had my attention. His presence demanded my reaction, but my resolve this time couldn’t be broken. Love would not have me for a fool this time. Not when I knew its game. I stepped away, not wanting to get burnt in this fire. But Love was a step ahead. I turned only to find me in its arms. I was trapped. Panic washed over my beating and Oh so awake heart. Love was closing in. I couldn’t let that happen. ‘Deny it’, shrieked my heart. ‘Deny Love and it shall go away’. I did just that. The more it pushed the more I persisted, the more I resisted. I denied its existence, it pushed harder. I was starting to loose, I had to fight more. So I became angry, Love kneeled before me taking me by surprise. I tried but I couldn’t hold my rage for long.Not after that.All that was left was to run. So I ran. With my heart filled with fear and panic, I ran. In the dark dungeons of my failures, I tried to hide. Love didn’t follow. Or so it let me believe. Alone, so very lonely I tended my frightened heart, becoming a guardian and a tyrant. At night my heart would cry for love, I would slap it shut. In lazy moments it would pine for love, I would slap it shut. And so it went on. The Pasodoble  where one would eventually loose. My heart, I soon realized was no longer mine. It was a traitor, my very own double agent. Love had already infiltrated its core. It no longer belonged to me, it no longer cared to be broken once again. My jagged little heart wanted to give Love another chance, and expected me to do the same. The idea enraged me. I rebelled,so did my heart. We fought, love waited by the door. We argued, Love serenaded. It was a tiring tirade. I was losing. The bitterness in me, I soon found out was fickle in comparison. The pursuit of my heart to untie with love outweighed my resistance. I knew I would never win. And to be honest I wasn’t sure I wanted to. Love was a drug, I had not been able to wean myself from. I couldn’t deny my latent desire to court love again. It was my very own guilty pleasure.

Exhausted I surrendered. I raised my white flag and gave up the fight. The smile in my heart was enough to let me fight my fair weather friends. Fear and doubt.Love eagerly grabbed my hand and rejoiced. I smiled with hesitance. Still unsure of what the future held. Another blow, another crack in my heart would be the end of me.My jagged heart would crumble into ash. Scared I took the first step, wishing Love would stay this time. I looked into his eyes and held his gaze. He let me look; beyond his well-kept guards, he let me take a glimpse into his soul. And all I saw was Love. I blinked and looked away. It was too overwhelming. He smiled and held my hand taking my heart away with his love glazed words

‘I know it’s hard, but try and trust me. I know your heart does cos it knows I’d never break it. I know you have scars on your heart that scare you,but  don’t be . The scars are just the roads you walked, looking for me. And now that you have found me, there won’t be any more. Cos you are here. Right where you wanted to be, right where your heart wanted to be. This is where you belong, with me, and with the love that encompasses us.’

A Hug came running, bringing that effervescent kiss along. His touch left an imprint, erasing the scars that marred my way. Love, truly the sneaky bastard won, smoothing my jagged heart and making me fall once and for all!


Authors Note:

I wrote this on a whim. An idea presented itself and spread across the blank page, without prior notice. At first I wasn’t sure what I was writing on, but I let faith push me forward and soon I had jagged little heart. A journey of this heart we keep within us.

I hope it translated the emotions my heart wanted to share. I hope it made you look back and accept your personal journey towards finding your one true love. If you’ve found it, I congratulate you, applaud you and wish you the same strength to keep this love safe. The strength you maintained in the journey of finding it. And if you are yet to meet this wonderful creation, I have only 2 words to share. Keep Going. Love is waiting somewhere down the line, for sure. Don’t give up, don’t lose faith and don’t believe there’s no love in store for you.  Your heart feeds off your belief and as far as you believe you will find what your heart seeks.

Cheers ❤

Aashna

Be yourself;

It suits you.

And the World is Still!!

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And the world is still…

Leaves fall into my gloom.

A dark night waiting by the door.

I smile, so seldom I feel happy.

The music plays from another room;

I walk by to the lonely piano.

Caressing a key with a cracking note.

The mood changes and I know its time;

Emotions crying on an abandoned road.

I’m drifting and dreaming,

Your smile, your touch so warm.

Those rainy walks, two souls rejoicing;

The chimes of love as calm as storm.

Walks and moonlights,

Walks and paradise,

Walks and goodbyes,

I walk and my heart cries.

I smile; I wake up, look around me,

To hear the melody fading.

The door so silent and weary.

But the night dances, its raining;

I walk to the window,

Watch the drops flirt.

So glad to be singing;

I love, it will hurt.

I love, it will hurt.

I smile, I will cry.

You came, you lived by.

You left me with a why.

Still standing and I stare;

At the night in its day.

My eyes teary, heart dry.

The door whispers,

Look my dear.

I look to see beyond my tears,

The rain is happy,

The music still,

Its you by the doorstep,

And the world is still!


Words written a while back, harbouring emotions of lost love that was never really lost.

Its a story, Its a poetry, its an emotion feilding for closure, for the right answers. Memories give you things to look back on, but seldom do they give you answers. Answers come when you seek them with diligence.

Here she let go, yet her heart wandered in search. It never looked away from the moment in time, that encompassed the best of their relationship.She, somewhere within her gave up on the idea of a reality, passing her days in fickle times gone by. But her heart kept wanting, wanting the reality, wanting him to be real. It seeked fate and questioned her intent, forced her to reconsider, to bring him back. And he came back.

When a heart desires, with all its being, fate has no option but to give in, and give. Fate awaits being challenged, to be questioned and to be moulded to our true hearts desire. A wish conceived from the womb of the purest and most heartfelt yearning never meets defeat.Instead it soars in the idyllic clouds of possibility.

So if you have a true hearts desire,hidden in the protected corners of your heart, bring it forward. Give it a chance to speak out, to challenge fate and impossibility. Stand by it and let it shine, let it become a reality you wished but never dared to have.

‘Impossible is nothing; When the heart desires, even the tempest, becomes a soulful harmony’.-(Me)

Cheers ❤

Aashna

Be yourself;

It Suits you.

Re-writing the Rights!!

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Re-writing the wrongs rights!!

If the mistakes I made shine so bright…Let my awesomeness also bask in such delight.


Flaws, we hide ours and highlight others. Its somehow instilled in our nature. It’s what we grew up learning, from our parents, our teachers, our friends and our society. Wrongs were always highlighted, while the rights often sat in the corner waiting its never coming turn. At home we found ourselves punished for our wrongs more often than being praised for our rights. At school, the wrong answers weighed heavily against the right. 96% forgotten, we were told to focus on the 4%. Friends weren’t that crude, but I am sure you’ve come across an incident when one wrong gesture washed away the good in your friendship. A misstep always was remembered more than the thousands of steps you took doing the right thing. Society, well no comments there.Even though it evolves, its nucleus still supports some old school presets. I will not be getting into it; it’s too long and repetitive of a tale. We all have had our complaints with social norms on more than many times.

My concern, or rather my frustration is not based on society or how we were brought up.I believe some of us had a splendid, smooth upbringing, with an amazing teacher that made you feel worthwhile and friends that stuck with you no matter what. No, what I want to express here is our tendency of passing the reins of our life trying to fix our wrongs. Of course that’s important for growing and evolving. But have you thought about another alternative??

Rather than focusing on what we do wrong, why don’t we focus on what we do right??

I was in Bahamas a few years back when we were given the chance to spend some time at the Dolphin Cay (pronounced ‘key’), learning about Dolphins, and how they were trained. After a fun info session we proceeded to meet these amazingly perceptive creatures. As we interacted with them a very prominent point came back to me. During our info session with the trainers a point came up about their training tactics. They used a simple term called “positive reinforcements“, focus on the positives. With every command the Dolphins followed they were rewarded with their favorite fish. But when they didn’t, no reaction of disappointment was let out. They only focused on the good, the things they did right. The same goes with my dog, yell at him for something wrong and he runs away, applaud his good behavior and he becomes the most adorable dog.

Don’t you think the same should apply to us as well?? Rather than running to make things right, why don’t we, for a change chase and capture the essence of our rights.

New year has started and a little pondering has poked me right around this idea. I have easily succumbed to the charms of criticism. I constantly have found myself focusing on what’s wrong, rather than what’s right. I have lost sleep over it, being too hard on myself, or on someone I love and what I have noticed is nothing but negative vibes around. My Attitude dipped, and so did my morale and self confidence. I needed to change that, I needed to revisit who I used to be, say a decade ago. A girl who focused on what she did right, stayed positive and had utmost faith that things will work out. Still a work in progress, I now try and invest my time looking for the good through the day. No doubts I don’t avoid things that need change, I still want to right my wrongs, but balancing the critic and the celebrator brings in a much better sense of self.

Think about it, question yourself, be aware how often you rivet on your wrongs compared to your rights. Try to change that.  We all make mistakes, but our triumphs are glorified through the things we do right. rewrite your rights, not to change them but to remember them and I bet you’ll see your spirit standing up and doing a happy dance. 🙂


Cheers ❤

Aashna

Be Yourself;

It Suits you.